"FUNK"ytown!

Ever get into one of those "funks"? You don't know why, or where it came from. Even more frustrating, you don't know how to get out of it. I've been smack-dab in the center of such a funk for months now. I'm sure the root of it all is financial. However, sometimes I just don't want to be around anyone. My kids jump on that last nerve and I end up yelling, or worse, screaming, at them. My beautiful 2 year old baby girl and my handsome and sensitive 5 yr old son. They don't deserve that. I don't deserve them. Sometimes, I just look at them wondering how I got so lucky as to been given them. It's during these mad-moments when I become a she-devil in disguise and send my children running away and causing them to cry.. I just want to run away and do so myself. I'm not sure what's going on with me. Super-PMS? Depression? Overwhelming lifestyle (or lack of)? I dunno. But I know that I do not like it. When I brought it up to my doctor at my yearly physical in January, he suggested yoga. "All I can do is prescribe medication". Helpful, right? So here I am, 8 months later, still feeling like I'm running a marathon underwater, barely treading water emotionally, financially, and mentally... and here I am, trudging on with my life the best I can. I feel so sorry for my family, that has to put up with me. How do I explain to a 5 and 2 yr old what mommy is going thru? I guess I'll just keep putting on my "happy face" for now, keep myself in check when I just feel like screaming, and pray that tomorrow is a better day.

In the meantime.. I've completely fallen off my wagon. First two weeks went decently. I thought I'd lost almost 13 lbs in 2 weeks.. turns out, scale wasn't working correctly. I'd lost 4. I know its better than nothing.. but my body keeps telling me that its not good enough. I can barely walk on my left foot from the pain in my heels. In the morning, I practically crawl around the first few minutes due to the pain being so intense. Painkillers don't come CLOSE to relieving pain. Standing at my 2nd job for 4-6 hours at a time certainly doesn't help. How do you "diet" when you barely have any money for food? I can make food and snacks, but its all based on white flour since that's all I have. I need to find better ways to make cheap snacks, but its just so difficult and depressing. That's all for now. I'm done bringing you all down in the dumps with me. Hope you're having a better day thank I am!

July's Cara Box- REVEALED!!

The first month of Cara box has gone by.. and that exciting day arrived on Friday! Came home to box waiting to be opened.. and of course, I couldn't right away because life as mom commenced and had to do too many things.  Once I did get it open though, it was awesome!  First off, let me say that my two partners were wonderful women who I thoroughly enjoyed getting to know.  Lisa, from Ohio, was my box sender.  She's going to be graduating with her early childhood education degree this year, and currently works as assistant manager at a movie theater. Sounds pretty dang good to me! Thank you for the opportunity to learn about you Heather!! A beautiful picture frame that I can't wait to add a family picture to from this summer!  A journal, which I believe I shall use to keep track of my weight loss goals in more detail, a fashion scarf that is absolutely beautiful when fully open,  a coordinating necklace with an anchor,  a sea scrub (which I seriously want, no NEED, to use ASAP!), a bag of what turns out to be quite delicious pita chips, and a bag of swedish fish.  Yes, the bag of fish has indeed already been attacked and consumed by my darling little angels because I didnt hide them fast enough... but I did manage to get a couple!!  Thank you so much Lisa, I loved it all!!

My other Carabox partner, Heather from NC, should be receiving her box today, so I dont want to spoil her surprise, should she happen to stumble on my blog today :-)   I'll post about that tomorrow.

All in all, I really enjoyed participating in the Cara box this month.  The Nautical theme threw me off a bit, but it turns out, there's a LOT out there if you know where to look, or if you just think about it for a bit!  I'm not sure if I will financially be able to participate in August, but I shall think about it and choose depending on the theme!

Week 1 Results- YAY!

Week 1 has officially ended.  While not exactly "DIETING", and more of a reduction in consumption and cutting out (almost completely) of soda..  I've pulled off a 4 lb loss!  Might have been more had I not given in and eaten fried dough, burger, loaded curly fries, a few twisted teas, then birthday cake and pizza with a glass of soda... but hey, you don't get Countryfest and Natalie's birthday every day of the year!  So I'm happy with losing 4 lbs with just decreasing food and walking 30 minutes on my lunch during the week.  I'm hoping to start a slower version of C25K this week.  I haven't run since highschool, 13 YEARS AGO.  This will be interesting.

Starting Weight:  389lbs
Current Weight: 385 lbs

Day 2

Walked a mile in 24 minutes today!  Discovered that walking to the faster paced Trace Adkins is much more stimulating than Taylor Swift.  I really need to figure out how to get a new playlist downloaded.. carrying this CD player is very cumbersome :-)  
Breakfast consisted of Honey Nut Cheerios Medley, Yoplait light cherry yogurt, a peach and 24oz water. 
Lunch was a homemade bean and cheese burrito made with my homemade refried beans and yet more water (I know.. not the healthiest thing in the world, but hey: its only day 2!)

Its My Party! Well, Not Really..

Over this incredibly hot hot hot hot spell, I've finally been able to take advantage of the pool at my parents house for the first time this season!  Naturally, the first time I went in was an oh so beautiful day.. sun was shining, not a cloud in the sky, kids were in a wonderful mood.. until we stepped our little toes into the water.  The clouds billowed in, the sun went into hiding, kids got cranky.  Typical day :-) 
We had lubed up the kids with enough sunscreen to allow Dracula on a nude beach.. so they were beyond protected.  John and I, wanting just "a little bit of color", avoided the sunscreen and wallowed around the pool for a mere 3 1/2 hours.  We succeeded in achieving our color! However, instead of the sweet light tan we'd wanted.. we managed to get LOBSTER RED. 
Fast forward 2 days.. John has bulging blisters on his shoulders, I can barely lift my arms over my head without wincing. 
Fast forward 2 more days:  blisters have (sorry for the visual) popped and are gross looking.. but hey! the redness on both of us is finally fading!!

The birthday party was fairly successful.  Everyone was able to make it, which was awesome! I love seeing everyone, especially those I dont get to see often during the year.  Naturally, it rained. Again.  The kids were right out in the pool right after the last drop fell though!  We didn't get around to playing any games or doing any of the activities, but they seemed happy just to swim, jump on the trampoline and run next to the roosters. (yes. roosters lol)
Note to self for future parties though:
1)  2 6-ft subs is enough to feed a small army.  For a kids birthday, just 1 little six-footer is sufficient!
2) When the forecast calls for rain, allow for extra room indoors.  30+ people in one small house: rather crowded.  Its just a good thing we all like each other!
3)  Present opening needs to require a fenced in area with just the birthday child(ren), one gift at a time being handed to them OVER the fence, and a spectator's area.  Lots of gifts + 15 kids in an enclosed area= PURE CHAOS.  I'm still not sure who got them what.  Also, having an awesome sister and sister-in-law as wrapping-paper-collectors is a GREAT idea.

Pictures will follow at some point.  All in all.. my little bubble guppies had a great day!  Now I just have to get over the fact that my baby girl is not a baby any more at 2 yrs old, and I now have a school-aged baby.
:-(

Meet your e-buddies

I got my first buddies assigned for the Cara box-  Lisa and Heather.  I can't wait to "meet" them and learn about them both!  This month's theme is "Sail Away With Me- Nautical theme" and I've already been researching some cool-looking DIY crafts, as well as gathering ideas as what to stuff my box with.  This is so exciting!
In other news, Bryan and Natalie's birthday parties are this Saturday.  The theme, you ask?  BUBBLE GUPPIES!!  

Yes, these lovable little fish-kids that so entrance toddlers and preschoolers.. and parents.. alike!  So while you work on getting that oh so catchy "Bubble-bubble-bubble Guppy-guppy-guppies!" tune out of your head, let me tell you what we have planned!

Mealtime:  So in the past, I've driven myself mad trying to get food together and cooked and served and cleaned up, then do cake and ice cream and serving 30+ kids and adults, all in the hot hot hot sun of June or July and then before we know it: the party's over. What?! Didn't it just start?!  So this year, we're cheating.  We're ordering some 6ft subs from Walmart, and ordering a couple of 24-cut pizzas, throwing a couple of fish-related items on the table and calling it a party.  OK, so maybe we won't "throw" it, and perhaps it'll be served a little cuter than throw the box of pizza and a bunch of sandwiches on the table.. but I'm really hoping I can spend time with the kids and visit with my family and friends instead of running everywhere doing stuff!

Games:  I think I've decided on a few different fun things this year.  In the past, everyone was happy to just dance through the sprinklers, jump on the trampoline, swim in the pool or play on the swing set.  Of course, THIS year.. we're supposed to have rain. And storms.  So on to plan B.

Bubble Painting-  that's right!  Know those Crayola bubbles that stain EVERYTHING they pop on, leading to multicolored siding on your house, and pretty blue and pink bubbles on the outside furniture? Well, someone had the idea to trap those bubbles and make them into art!  By adding a few drops of food coloring to basic ole-bubbles, have the kids blow bubbles onto sheets of white paper, allow to dry, frame in a construction paper frame.. and VOILA!!! Insta-art that will melt the hearts of adults everywhere!

Bubble Station- just blowing some bubbles.  Relatively harmless, right? We shall see..

Fishing!  We found this really cute little fishing set that comes with this fishing pole that has a "lure" with 6 hooks that are used to catch the fish.  Not sure if it'll just be an activity or if we'll turn it into a game.. but it'll be fun either way!

Pin the Tail on the Guppy!   A twist on a classic.  We'll be printing out large pictures of Gil and Molly, then have the kids see if they can get their tails on right!  Or on the eyebrows. Technicality.

And last but not least.. hopefully.. if we can find one we like and can afford...
PINATA!!!

I really hope Saturday turns out to be a decent day, weather-wise, but at least we know if its not.. it will still be a nice day all around for my beautiful babies celebration!

Pics to follow, of course!